Mary met Brian when she lived in England. It was love at first sight. Her parents didn’t like him, but then they didn’t like anybody she did. She got on with her mum okay but her step father always made her feel unwanted. So when Brian suggested she move to the Isle of Man with him she jumped at the chance.
As soon as she stepped off the boat things changed. Brian went from being attentive and loving to being rude and angry. He started staying out late drinking with his mates and leaving her alone. When she got pregnant she hoped he would be as pleased and excited as she was, but he wasn’t! They had a dreadful argument, he blamed her for being ‘stupid enough’ for getting pregnant (doesn’t it take two). He said he wasn’t ready to be a father and walked out.
She thought she could cope along. But soon discovered that she wasn’t entitled to any benefits and her step father refused to have her back (‘you got into this mess, get yourself out!’) and she had a baby on the way. It was a really scary time. She did little part time jobs which got round work permits, but paid peanuts. She got into relationships simply for the support and contribution to the rent. What did it matter if he hit her a bit, at least there was food for the baby.
Her daughter Jade is now five. Mary works as a bar maid during the day and Saturday nights. She pays £8.50 a day for after school care and £40 for a babysitter on Saturday night, which eats into her income. She is very proud that the only benefit she claims is Fis because she wants her daughter to see that if you want things, you have to work for them.
She gets very lonely in the evenings when her daughter is in bed and depressed as she looks round the flat she pays £600 a month for. There are no light fittings in the bathroom so they have to use a torch at night. No wonder her make up always looks funny! There are cracks in the windows, which are old in metal frames and let in the drafts and noise. The flat is so damp. Once a week she washes the mould off the walls and she lost count of how many clothes and shoes have been ruined. Her daughter has asthma, which the doctor says is due to the damp. When she goes to stay at friends she doesn’t wheeze. Many encourages her to stay at her friend Milly’s as often as possible but gets embarrassed because she can’t invite her back. Mary and Jade spend as much time as possible out of the flat as they can. She dreads coming back to it. She has spoken to the landlord about repairs but he told her that if she didn’t like it she could leave and she knows there is no where else to go. He frightens her. He calls in unexpectedly day or night and is charming at first; ‘I am sure we can come to some other friendly arrangement over the rent if you can’t pay’ and then aggressive when she asks him to leave. She worries for Jade.
The washing machine broke and luckily her mum helped her out; ‘don’t tell your step father, it’s a one off’. Now the cooker is on its last legs and there will be no rescue package from mum.
She spoke to a Solicitor who told her to withhold the rent until the repairs are done, but she daren’t. The landlord would chuck her out, she is sure.
She has tried to get public housing and joined the list of many. They have told her it will be at least 2 ½ years. She told them about the state of the flat and Jade’s asthma, but it is still 2 ½ years.
They never see Brian. Apparently he has another woman pregnant and left her as well. He claimed to have no money for maintenance but he seems to go out a lot and drives a posh car. It hurts Jade, she wants a dad like other kids. But Jade is happy and does well at school so Mary must have got something right!